Lessons Learned
My current experience reminds me in some strange way of an earlier time in my life when I had to leave everything familiar behind me and move forward into a totally new world. There was no blurry line, only a before and after. One day, I was going to a large French-speaking school and taking the train to the North Sea. The next, I was landing at my grandma’s rambling farmhouse in the middle of the rolling hills of central Ohio. At the age of fifteen, I had no knowledge or models on how to make such a huge transition. And though it wasn’t always pretty, I managed fairly successfully to move on in a whole new world.
Today, I can see that some of those lessons learned are still useful as I again travel that same path. I leave a culture of gatherings, of physical community, of set routines and jump into one of isolation, virtual community and uprooted routines. Here are a few things that kept me sane back then and that I’ve fallen back on now.
Hold on to those things that you can. When I left Belgium, I brought along a book bag that all my friends had signed and it became a sort of security blanket, wrapping me in love when I went to a new school. It’s something I could hold onto from my old life and I needed that comfort. My baking has been that comfort in this new world.
Spend time in nature. Walking has always been helpful. It gives me time to think and puts me in touch with the natural world with its steady seasonal cycles. When I let my eyes take in the ever changing landscape, I am no longer dwelling on the worries of the world.
Don’t be fearful. I don’t let fear paralyze me. Instead of approaching my new life with fear, I respectfully and carefully enter it. I try to understand the new parameters I have to live with and how they affect the whole community.
Embrace the new. I decide to move forward instead of looking back. I try to be creative in this brave new world and look for the positives.
Create new routines. Routines are good. But it’s O.K. to rethink those that I have. Maybe they aren’t working in the new world.
Focus on each day. I can get overwhelmed when I think about the long term. So I take time to breathe and slow down. I live each day as fully as I can.
Laugh at yourself. When all else goes haywire, I still need a good laugh. Laughing at myself is a good place to start.
As I leave my old culture, it’s hard not to feel sorry for myself. Transitions are difficult. But I can choose to look forward and still allow myself to dream about the future. And live each day in hope.
