Thoughts in Flight
As I return to this landscape, my second home, from my first home across the ocean, I find some comfort in knowing that the bridge between the two is easier to cross than it used to be. Both worlds are more accessible. My first voyage from the old world to the new was on a ship and took ten days, and now, I leave Paris in the morning and arrive in South Bend in the early evening. With my phone, I can find out what the weather is in both places and keep track of my friends on both sides.That I feel comfortable in both worlds also helps tremendously. Somewhere in my brain, a little switch flips and I naturally know what to do where I am, what language to speak, what cultural guidelines to follow.
During those hours in flight, I think about where I have just been and where I am going and there is always some bittersweetness in the air. This time, I was reading a novel about a family living out this double culture, and found myself revisiting my childhood. All of us absorb as children what we breathe in daily in our family systems. I was fortunate to take in love and art and several languages. My slice of family pie was full of rich experiences: learning to navigate two cultures, doing the best I could, a large roof over my head, good food to eat, looking forward, encouraged curiosity, accessibility to both parents, three siblings… But, even within my own family, I suppose my siblings might have a totally different filling in their pie.
As the airplane approaches our destination this time, I try to remember where I’m going. Yes, the past has shaped me but the steps I take each day are the ones that matter now. I discard what is now longer of use and keep what makes me happy. I accept that everyone around me has their own slice of pie to deal with and it’s different from mine. I try to find the commonality between us instead of looking for the differences. I question out of curiosity not out judgment. I feel both the pain and the joy around me. But, mostly, I continue to listen and learn and watch and live and remember that it all comes down to love.
My childhood slice of pie is what it is. I try to pull out of it all the good that I can. But, today, as I set my feet back on the ground in Detroit, I know this is my life now and I’ll make the most of it as I can, every day.
